I am sick to my stomach about all the things I can’t control and wish I could. Like the fact that I have to report to jury duty in the morning and I have no idea if or how this will impact the second interview I am supposed to have on Thursday. Like whether or not I’ll be able to attend that interview and if I am able, whether or not they will like me and offer me the job. Like if they do offer me the job, when and how I will manage a move. Like if I do move and start a new job, whether or not I will be happy or miserable in my new life.
I have been grumpy all weekend about all of this. I am mad at myself for not trying to get myself excused from jury duty. I am mad at the universe for what seems like such horrible timing. I am mad at this potential new job for being located in a place I do not want to live. I am mad. I am mad. I am mad.
And, I wish I could have let it all go and enjoyed the day I had today and the time I had with friends.
I waste my time with worries. I worry about things that have yet to happen and that may never happen. I worry about the things I can’t control and the things I chose to ignore that are now too late to alter. It’s needless, wasteful worrying. It accomplishes nothing beyond ruining my day. Yet, here I sit: worrying, worrying, and worrying.