Sometimes, I just want a Mom.
I’m a grown person who is more or less self-responsible and self-reliant. I don’t have a partner. I don’t have a person on whom I can depend on a daily basis. Sometimes, it feels like too much for me to handle on my own. Sometimes, the pain of not having a safe harbor within which to rest or a person on whom to lean makes me feel just this side of crazy. Sometimes, on days like today, all I want is a Mom.
I want that one person who can make it all better even if just for a day. I want a person who I believe makes me safe; whom I trust when they say, “it’s all going to be alright.” So that I can relax and breathe again. So that I can stop having to try so god damn fucking hard to just keep my shit together. Or so that I can fall completely to pieces and know that I’m being held together in that moment by someone else’s arms.
Somedays, like today, I don’t want to have to take care of myself. In fact, I resent it. I want to be taken care of. I feel tired and scared–overwhelmed. And I just want someone to make it just a little bit more tolerable, more bearable for me. I’m an adult, yes, but sometimes, god sometimes I just wish I could be cared for like a kid. So I can breathe again. So for just a day, I don’t have to be so strong.