I have zero prophetic abilities. I am unable to either predict or control the future. I also cannot make other people do what I want them to do when and how I want them to do it. Nor can I exert influence over life or people by thinking really hard. Not even if I think really, really hard. These things are all truth. So too is the fact that knowing this, I still expend an enormous amount of energy and devote an incredible amount of time to trying.
I have decided that the job I interviewed for today is the best possible position for me in the best possible location. It is THE job for me. The only job that could potentially result in my happiness. In the whole wide world and for all time. I have also decided based on today’s interview (at which nothing disastrous occurred) that I will not be offered the position.
I very accidentally did a rather genius thing today. Prior to the interview (in the time between hotel check-out and the appointment) I decided somewhat off-handedly to book a room at a bed and breakfast in a small town I’d never before visited. I did this rather than a) return home immediately or b) spend another night in a cheap and dingy motel wondering what I might be contracting every time my skin touched a surface (be it the floor, a counter, or the bedding).
I knew I had been unexpectedly brilliant when I rounded a particular curve in the State Forest through which I was driving to the coast (on a road I’d not previously traversed) and burst out laughing in response to the overwhelming spectacle that had suddenly become my view. This was further reinforced later while I scrambled over rocky outcroppings that reminded me quite vividly of St. Andrews, and still later as I was finishing my lemon ginger cheesecake in the quaint historic town, and later still as I now sit beside a wood burning fire in the beautiful room that belongs to me for the night.
If I don’t get this job, I have no idea what I’ll do. I have no idea where that leaves me. I know I should be fretting over it now, trying to apply my mental prowess to controlling life and influencing the future. That is what I would normally be doing. Instead, I have unintentionally ended up enjoying my day.