I like the places most where I get to be all of me: the sweetheart, the jackass, the seeker, the shadow-delver, the light-bringer, the nerd, the artist, and so on, and so on. I am an amalgamation of things, any number of which can surface from one minute to the next. I enjoy myself the most when I don’t have to hide myself. I enjoy myself the most when someone else is enjoying me too.
I worry quite a bit about how I will be received. I worry less now than I used to. I don’t know that I will ever stop worrying altogether. I don’t know that it matters if I do. I do want my worry to intrude less and less on the experience I get to have of being who I am. Especially because for me, the worry isn’t so much worry, as it is shame.
I want to continue creating places where it is safe to bring my whole self forward. Where it is okay to be both a sweetheart and a jackass. Where I can be vulnerable and held in it.
I am imperfect. I am also beautiful.
There is still a small part of me that cringes at the imperfection. Mostly though, I am just so incredibly grateful that a part of me recognizes the beauty, and knows the truth of it.