I worry about tomorrow, a lot and often.
I worry about all the possible ramifications of most choices that I make in a day. I worry what the outcome will be. I worry about how it will effect me, others, and the rest of my life. I get so caught up in the worry that I forget nothing is actually happening right now in this moment.
I am sitting in a darkened room right now, typing this post before I go to bed. I am absolutely okay being here. I am okay being here with me. There is nothing to worry about in this time or space. The things that are spinning my head and stomach around are all things that do not yet exist, that have not yet happened, and might not ever happen.
If I choose to be here now, then I had a really good day.
If I choose to be here now, then I get to fall asleep smiling.
It seems to come back again to having trust and faith. To letting go of the many, many things I cannot control, and believing in my own ability to live this life I choose. To knowing I will be okay because again, I already am.
Letting go feels like exhaling a long, held breath. It feels like relief. It is a practice I would like to do more. A practice I would like to remember to do more.