I am feeling the pressure of being in the last 30 days of this personal experiment. It has already given me more than I ever dreamed possible when I conceived of it a little over a year ago. Yet, I am aware of this push coming from somewhere in side me for more.
I want to keep doing extraordinary things, forgetting that I am the extraordinary thing. I don’t have to try so hard or push so much. I don’t, actually, have anything I have to prove to anyone.
I am still enough. Even in the restless of my body tonight. Even in the scattering of my thoughts. With a light sheen of sweat on my skin, and a queasy sensation in my stomach, I am still enough. Right now. In this very moment. Exactly as I am.
In accepting me, I have the gift of knowing me. It is easy and obvious in a way it never seemed before. It is all just here, laid out and uncovered, and I can actually see it. There is more to know. More to accept. More to uncover. There forever will be. I am not a fixed point. I am a living being. Raw, and vulnerable, and so very much alive.