Faith is a daily practice.
It’s such a simple, and now obvious concept. And it is one that I just realized, sitting outside in my backyard at 3 AM.
I thought faith was supposed to be something you find in a moment, or at the end of a particular journey, that stays and is constant. I thought if I could just find it once, I could hold onto it forever. It would make all of this so much easier.
Instead, it dawned on me tonight that faith is a daily practice, and it feels like an amazing revelation.
I can do what feels right to me in one moment, and let go of what may or may not come in the next. I can trust myself today, and not worry about the result of it tomorrow. Tomorrow, I can keep in contact with myself, do what feels right in each of those moments, and let go of all the rest.
Faith as a daily practice is what frees me. Not the everlasting faith I thought I needed and have been grasping for all this time. That type of faith keeps me locked in and stagnate. That kind of faith demands things of me that I cannot possibly achieve. Like control. I don’t need to be so worried. There is nothing to control. All I need is to know where I am when I am there, and choose the very next step.
I am aware in this moment of how very tired I am, and beneath that, a warm and wondrous sense of peace.