I stayed home from work today. I’m so sick, I didn’t even really get to enjoy it. I slept a lot. I moaned and groaned a lot. I didn’t do much else.
I am planning on going to work tomorrow. I am setting my alarm and my coffee. I hope if I wake up feeling like this, I’ll have it in me to take care of myself. I still feel like a kid faking sick to get out of going to school whenever I call in. I feel guilty for staying home. And I shouldn’t feel guilty for taking care of myself. No one else is going to put me first. I should at least be able to do that.
The truth is, I want to be a kid and a grown up all at the same time. I think sometimes, being a grown up is taking care of the kid in me. Or something like that. To be totally honest, I’m not sure how well my brain is working at the moment. If I sit still long enough, I can hear a whooshing sound between my ears.