It’s nearly midnight, and I have to get up and go back to work in the morning.

I am unhappy, and I’m not sure how much that matters.

There is so much that I hate today.

In the wake of my grief and rage, I want to give up, to shut down, to not care. To shrug my shoulders, say, “this is life,” and go robotically through it. At least then, I wouldn’t have to feel.

Much of what I hate is me.

And, I’d rather sleep than think too much about it.