I scheme.

Part of what I’ve been doing the past several days is scheming; I’ve been trying to come up with ways to make my life better. Earlier today, I decided I need to write and publish a hugely successful book in the next year. Later, I fell back to quitting smoking, starting a yoga practice and a jogging routine, eating nothing but fruits, veggies, whole grains and lean protein, all to lose weight and get in shape. I’ve been trying to figure out where I should live, what I should do for work, and how I might meet my future partner.

I don’t spend a lot of my time in the present, in the life I am actually living. I spend so much more of my time scheming, dreaming up ways to have a better life–a life in which I imagine myself to be happier. And for the most part, my fantasies stay in my head. I rarely actually put my schemes into practice.

I am constantly imagining ways to fix my life, as though my life were a problem that needs solving.

Perhaps the best place to start is where I already am.