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It’s 2:30 AM and I need to get to sleep.

I don’t know what to say, and I am feeling the need to say something so I can turn off my computer, turn off the bedside light, and curl beneath my covers to dream.

My thoughts and feelings are slipping by me, slick as fish. I could grab on to one of them and run with it, but none seems more or less true than any of the others. The truth is a bit blurry tonight. I am okay, and a little uncomfortable. I want things I don’t have, and I’m not certain as to what I want. I am happy to be where I am, and I miss the time and space to be with myself (and am aware that when I have that time and space, I miss being with people who know me).

I don’t always know or understand my experience as I am experiencing it, and I want to make a little more room for this to be okay.

I don’t always want to think about what I am doing or feeling or saying or not saying in the moment I am in. I want to allow myself to just be in the moment. I want to think a little less about living so I can live a little more.