It’s strange to me that I live here now. I realized today that I am never going back to my old studio apartment in the East Bay. It was a sudden, odd thought to have. It took me a bit by surprise. It was as though some part of me was convinced up till now that this was just an extended holiday. There really is no going back. This is where I live now.
I am proud of myself. Proud of what I’ve done. It was the right thing to do. This is the right place for me to be. I’m still a little wigged out by it at times, but I don’t doubt it. I mean, I do doubt my actual location. I walk around my new neighborhood at times and wonder how many people are cooking crystal meth behind the closed doors of the desert homes. Or inside the RVs parked next to them. But I don’t doubt the decision to move. To take this job. To do exactly what it is I am doing.
It’s odd, and I’m not sure I’ll ever love it, but for now it’s home. And for now, it’s totally good enough.