I have less than 10 minutes to type this post as hotel check-out is at 11 AM, and with it, I lose my internet access for the day.

I am in a shit-fucking mood at the moment. This has nothing to do with my mother whom I am currently taking it out on. In the shower 20 minutes ago I was thinking about how absurd it is that I was the picture of perfect politeness to the sixth–yes SIXTH–DirectTV agent I spoke with on the phone this morning to schedule cable and internet installation, only to then snap at my mother who had spent the hour and a half that I was dealing with that finding information for me online. I was thinking about this in the shower, and realizing that the cost of my politeness to the strangers on the phone (the ones responsible for the fuck ups that was making it an hour and a half long process)–taking that anger out on my mother who is here only to help and support me–is too high.

Ten minutes later when my mother opened the bathroom door (where I was drying my hair) pointed my computer at me indicating the password request and saying, “I already packed my computer,” my response was, “Jesus Mom! I just need a few minutes to myself to finish getting ready!!”


I ought to be angry with the people who make me angry. It would save my mother from having to put up with shit that has nothing what-so-ever to do with her. And, it just makes good sense. But, the truth is, I’m too concerned with appearing polite to be real. At least with strangers. Which, makes absolutely no sense.

I’m out of time, and off to look at refrigerators.